Naming an emotion instead of enduring it

A message arrives: "We need to talk." You do not yet know what it is about, but you are already imagining bad news. You want to reply right away, defend yourself, or stop looking at your phone.

That is one example. Maybe you know instead this worry before an appointment, a conversation or a call you dread.

When an emotion takes up a lot of space, we can judge ourselves:
"I am useless", "I am overreacting", "I should know how to handle this."
Yet feeling fear does not make you an incapable person.

In the brain, a small region takes part in the reaction to what seems dangerous: the amygdala.

The amygdala: an alarm, not a boss

To understand its role, picture an alarm. It helps you react to a perceived threat. That does not mean the danger is certain: you can feel afraid before knowing what is really happening.

The amygdala does not decide everything. It works with other regions of the brain, which help to understand the situation and moderate the reaction. An emotion is therefore not the business of a single place in the brain.

You do not need to remember all these names. The idea is simple: a fear reaction does not, on its own, say what will happen. In the message example, "I am afraid of bad news" and "bad news is waiting for me" are not the same thing.

Why put a word on the emotion?

In 2007, researchers showed people photos of faces, for example a face expressing fear. Under the photo, two words were offered. The person had to choose the one that described the face's expression: that, here, is "naming the emotion".

The researchers measured their brain activity at the same time. They compared two moments: when people chose a word to describe the face's emotion, and when they simply looked at a face, with no answer to give. The amygdala was less active when people chose the word.

An important limit must be kept: this study was about faces watched in a laboratory. It does not prove that writing "I am worried" in your journal will make your anxiety disappear. It offers a lead to understand the value of words, not a guarantee of relief.

A simple gesture to try

Back to the message: "We need to talk." Instead of telling yourself "I am hopeless for reacting like this", you can write: "I am worried, because I am imagining bad news."

You are describing what is happening inside you. You are not condemning yourself as a whole person.

Take a sheet of paper, or open "Free writing" in My interactive journal if you already have your access. Start with:

"Right now, I feel..."

Add the word closest to your experience: fear, anger, sadness, relief. If you cannot find it, you can write: "I do not yet know what I feel."

Read it back. Is it clearer? Is the emotion as strong, weaker or stronger? There is nothing you have to succeed at. If it stays, you have not failed the exercise.

Naming an emotion does not mean deleting it. It first means acknowledging what you are going through, without turning it into a judgment about you.

Understanding before judging yourself

With Esprit Singulier, I want to offer you simple gestures and explain why to try them. Not ask you to do them without understanding, nor promise they will work every time.

You can learn to recognize your emotions, one word after another. With the right to try, adjust and start again.

Open My interactive journal, if you already have your access:
https://journal-interactif.espritsingulier.com/

Alima, singular like you 🧡

To go further: Lieberman et al., "Putting Feelings Into Words", Psychological Science, 2007.
https://www.psychologicalscience.org/journals/psychological-science/j.1467-9280.2007.01916.x/